Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Feeling like a failure

Has it ever happened to you that you get so excited about an accomplishment that you have achieved and you can't wait to talk about it. You look for the one person who is closest to you be it your best friend, spouse, parent, sibling etc. So the minute you excitedly tell them, instead of receiving encouraging remarks and a pat on you back for all you have done....all you receive is " Why didn't you do it this way?"" You should have done that".

In such an instance what can you do? Most of the happiness you were feeling would slowly start evaporating and leave you feeling not good enough. How can one escape that feeling? By not sharing your successes? By ignoring any negative remarks? Or better yet, by ensuring that you let whatever negative remark is being said, come through one ear and leave through the other.

Kids are usually traumatized by all this. Take an example of a kid who has just gotten a B- in a subject that he used to fail. He comes home all happy and rushes to show the test to his parent. The parent takes the test and starts giving the kid a lecture. 'If you spend more time studying you will be able to get an A, everytime you come home , you change and quickly rush to play at the neighbors house. Why cant you be like other kids, this is a simple subject".....and the lecture goes on and on.

Criticism is fine, especially constructive criticism, but let's first of all think of how we present it. First of all give a little praise for the effort done by the other party, then give the comments in a civilized manner. As long as you get the message across without making them feel bad, it's all good.

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